“The three men I admire most, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost…”, the line from Don McLean’s American Pie came to mind this week. While not the day the music died, there is certainly an emptiness in the Benedictine community with the passing of Fr. Adrian.
He is one of three men who had the greatest influence on me. The first was my father, who passed sixteen years ago, the second Fr. Adrian Harmening OSB, who left us on Monday, and the third Capt. Alan B. Flanagan USN, who to my knowledge is still with us. Their lessons and example have so become a part of me that it is difficult to separate and attribute what to whom. Like a great design, their lessons are in alignment, the themes repeat, and each stood in contrast to the world around them. They balanced inspiration, motivation, and discipline as leaders, and their values of duty and honor, and integrity echo in my relationship with each of them.
Each man, while possessing an unsurpassed seriousness of purpose, had an infectious sense of humor. It required a thick skin to appreciate the quick sarcasm, you either had one, or you developed one quickly. When I was a sophomore in high school my parents had the opportunity to take me on a trip to Rome. It was sponsored by the Knights of Columbus and would include a trip to the Vatican. The problem is that it would take me out of school for two weeks. Permission was needed, from Fr. Adrian who was not only the Principal of Benedictine, he was my Latin teacher. I was not a good Latin student and I was likely going to fail this class. Fr. A loved everything about Latin, the language, the history, the precision. When I asked him he said, “Maxwell, you are learning nothing in my Latin class, perhaps a trip to Rome will give you some sense of the language and culture, and exposure to the Vatican won’t hurt you either.” I went with his blessing both admonished and excited. When I returned, he asked me about my trip. He must have been sufficiently impressed with my answer as he gave me a “C” as a final grade, saying even I was able to learn something from that experience.
All three men served in the US Navy, and each a man’s man as the expression goes. Fr. Adrian, was, like my father a veteran of the war in the Pacific. They were complex men, but not complicated men. To them, life was as Reagan said, “…simple, but not easy. I learned from each of them that having a compass oriented to True North would help you steer through a stormy sea of doubt, and fear, not easy but simple. Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor, and these men were skilled sailors and accomplished navigators. They knew how to steer True North in the heaviest seas.
Father Adrian was a tough man, but a fair man. No matter how tough he was, you not only knew that he disciplined from love, his example taught you how to love. He loved unselfishly without an expectation that love would be returned. He loved us despite our insolence and other foibles of adolescence. He loved the Saint within each of us. He was, as Jesus taught him to be, a fisher of men. He took it as his mission to find that Saint and help us to grow and mature. He recognized our value, even when we did not. I have not always lived up to what I felt were his expectations, but I know that I am a person of value, and that allows me to find and respect the value in others. God doesn’t make mistakes. However, one does not put oneself first. Father had an expression; I had learned a variation from the nuns in grade school. They said the key to happiness was JOY, putting Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself; Father called it GOS- God, Others, Self. Great wisdom for a temporal world that focuses way too much on the love of self.
Rest in Peace, Padre, Mentor, Saint, and Shipmate. We have the watch, you are relieved, you will be missed.